


It was a joke (I'm not gay)

by squarephoenix



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Derek is always late, First Meetings, Gen, Groping, Humor, I'm not gay by J Pee, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Oblivious Stiles, One Shot, Power Tools, Scott is a Good Friend, Songfic, Stiles in Denial, everyone is around 24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squarephoenix/pseuds/squarephoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the I'm Not Gay music video by J Pee.<br/>----<br/>Scott brings a new friend, Derek, along to his and Stiles' trip to Home Depot that disrupts everything Stiles thought he knew about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It was a joke (I'm not gay)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been soooo long since I've completed a fic. I'm really glad I finally finished, I've had this one sitting on the backburner for a while - messing around with it when my other, longer fics would hit a roadblock.  
> Anyway I had this idea to create a song fic based on the I'm Not Gay music video by J Pee a while back out of the blue, I hand't seen it in well over a year. But it felt like a perfect fit for a Sterek injection. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend watching it, tons of hot guys and really funny.  
> I've never done a songfic before, so I hope there isn't a specific format you have to follow to do one. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Criticism welcomed. Enjoy!

Scott and Stiles strolled carefree through the aisles at Home Depot looking at various tools and items. "So, are we planning on walking every inch of this place? Where is this guy, what's his face?" Stiles started snapping in his fingers in an effort to jog his memory of the name for Scott’s new friend and coworker at the animal clinic.

"Derek." Scott corrected. "He said he'd text me once he got here. He ran into some traffic. Let's just check some stuff out while we wait."

"What do we even need him for? There's always YouTube or one these helpful store clerks." A crowd of male workers seemed to be transfixed on helping three young women in short shorts and low cut tops. All three looking like they belonged on a driveway with a cliché of soap suds, water hoses, and an unwashed car between them.

"Uh, okay, well...there's still YouTube. Geez, are there no women working here today?" Scott pats Stiles' arm and points to the lone female adorning a smock ogling along with her male colleagues. "I stand corrected. Are there any women who aren't into women working today?"

"Hey, check these out," Scott requested. Stiles turned away from the display of horned up workers to find his friend no longer by his side, Scott was now in front of a multitude of vibrantly colored drills. "It's a freaking carnival of colors over here." Scott excitedly observed.

"I don't know why but I need this in my life." Stiles states as he grabs the drill with the bright pink handle.

Scott chuckles, "It looks good on you. Let me get a quick pic of you with that bad boy." Stiles flexes his arm while holding the tool and bites his lip staring into the lens with battle ready rage. Just before Scott snaps a shot, an alert from his smartphone informs him of an incoming text message."Oh, good. Derek's in the store now looking. Let me tell him where we are." Scott relays.

"No, no, no. Not yet, take the picture first. We waited for him long enough, he can't wait a couple of minutes." Scott performs the task asked of him. Once the two friends see how well the picture turned out, Scott gets into his role as photographer instructing Stiles to do different poses. From firing at unseen targets to pretending to drill a hole in his head. The final pose is product of Stiles' perverted mind; he bends over and places the drill behind his ass with a look of pure ecstasy that Scott only sees on their weekly pizza nights.

"Yo. Tag this one 'doing real manly shit'." The exaggerated look of bliss plastered on Stiles’ face for the photo is lost when he hears a deliberate clearing of a throat behind him that sent panic coursing through Stiles’ body and his body soaring against the display of colorful drills, toppling the neat setup. Stiles shifts himself around to see a strikingly gorgeous man staring at him with pinched bushy brows.

"Am I interrupting a private moment? You need more time alone?" Stiles tries to respond but all he can do stutter out a string of absurd, half formed words that leaves him feeling even more embarrassed.

Luckily for Stiles, Scott’s words distract from Stiles' moment of inexplicable language loss. "Dude, you finally made it!" Sporting his well-known happy puppy face and raising a fist for the man to bump.

"I told you don't call me 'dude', it's just Derek." Derek corrects and stares down with indifference at the fist awaiting contact. After Scott doesn't accept the hint of Derek's rejection, Derek begrudgingly taps a closed hand with Scott's, rolling his eyes through the entire exchange.

The giddy expression on Scott's face looks to be worth Derek's original apprehension when an uprise forms on the corner of Derek's mouth.

"Nice," Scott replies. "How long were you standing there? I didn't even notice you."

"Back when this one," Derek’s thumb pointing to Stiles, "tried to give that shovel handle a happy ending." Recalling back when Stiles was stroking the shaft of the garden tool with dedicated passion. Another idea conjured by the dark, unfiltered part of Stiles' brain.

Scott snorts from an aborted laugh, not wanting to laugh as Stiles wore a mortified expression.

"Oh, let me introduce you. This is my best friend I was telling you about. Stiles." Derek turns to look at Stiles who is trying his best to arrange the wreckage he inflicted, if only to avoid the judgment he assumes is on Derek's face. Had Stiles looked all he would find is amusement etched on Derek's face.

"Right. You ready to start?" With Scott's nod of affirmation, Derek leads the way to the intended aisle with Scott and Stiles trailing behind.

When Derek gives his recommendations for paint choices, Stiles is impressed by the amount Derek knows about color for a guy dressed head to toe in black with hints of gray. Of course Stiles vocalizes this thought to the man helping them, bringing a deep rumble of laughter from Derek as Scott admonishes Stiles for voicing his back handed compliment.

 _“The dude has layers. Layers that need to come off immediately. Wait, what?”_ A small voice supplies, hidden deep in Stiles’ brain _._

\----

"Huh, so that's how you find them." Stiles says when a group of smock covered women flock around Derek to see if he needs any assistance to which he politely declines. "Can't say I blame 'em for swarming him. Dude is fine as fuck." When Scott gives a questioningly look, Stiles adds, “I can admit it; I am perfectly comfortable with my sexuality.”

"Are you really gonna buy that?" Skipping over Stiles’ statement and pointedly staring at the drill with the bright pink handle clasped in Stiles' hand.

"Of course. Now that I found you, I will never let you go. No, no. And if you ever leave me you know it's gonna hurt me so." Stiles sung to the drill, causing Scott to smile brightly at his best friends antics. One thing Scott could always count on from Stiles was turning a mundane day of  something like buying home improvement supplies into a comedy show. Stiles nearly drops the drill when he notices Derek has rejoined them and is looking at him with disbelief, corners of his mouth twitching.

\---

“So, you two live together?” Derek asks as the trio wait on line with two full shopping carts of various items, the hours had flew by during their time in the store. Stiles quickly stopped caring about whether Derek found him weird or annoying once Stiles realized Derek was enjoying himself.

“Yep...but we're just friends.” Stiles felt the need to elaborate to Derek, even though Scott introduced them as such. A glance at Scott shows he's displaying the hurt puppy look, Stiles immediately knew why with the amount of history the two shared. “I mean we're more like brothers.” Same expression still adorned Scott’s features. “We ARE brothers. Oh my God, Scott. Stop being so needy.” Stiles groans out to the satisfied look on Scott's face. "Anyway, completely single here." Stiles volunteered his current relationship status without being prompted by anyone.

"Single, huh? You might want to tell that to the drill. I think it wants a serious commitment." Derek says, completely straight faced.

"He knows this is just a fling until someone better comes along." Wait, did Stiles refer to the drill as male? He figured it was only proper to view the drill as male given that the tool had been positioned to drill a hole in Stiles' ass. Whatever, it looked like the comment went unnoticed or uncared.

“Derek, do you want me to text you the address to our place? Or just follow us in you car?

Stiles quickly asks Derek, before he can respond Scott’s question, to go check with his fan base for a price check to gain some alone time with Scott.

When Derek is out of ear shot Stiles states his apprehension to inviting Derek back. “Dude, we can't invite him to our place now!”

“Why not? He’s a good guy, you can trust him.” Scott tries to reason.

“No, man, it’s because the place is a wall to wall pig sty!” Stiles counters.

“It's not that bad, besides he expects it to be a mess. Remember, we’re fixing up the place.”

“Please, Scotty he already thinks I’m a pervert, I don’t need him thinking I was raised by wolves too!” Stiles begs.

“Okay, okay. Why is this so important anyway? You don’t even know the guy.”

Scott made an excellent point, Stiles didn’t really know anything about Derek other than he liked animals and was really skilled with his hands and had an adorable look of concentration when he was deciphering Stiles’ scrawl of handwriting to find out the proper measurements for certain supplies. Maybe the last part was objective. But was it so wrong to want to be seen in the best possible light?

Even though it made zero sense to Scott for Stiles’ anxiety to invite Derek over, Scott being the best friend that he is makes up an excuse for the sudden change in need for Derek’s assistance.

“You explained a great deal to us already. I think we can handle it from here. Besides, we'll see each other tomorrow if things don't go well.”

Derek nods with understanding, but an air of disappointment surrounded him. Stiles thought too late that Derek may have found himself looking forward to spending the rest of the day with the two roommates, as it was clear Derek had a good time in their combined company. “Alright, if you’re sure. Stiles, you're coming too, right?” Derek asked hopefully, supplying Stiles with his query.

"Absolutely, count me in." Stiles answered enthusiastically, looking forward to seeing Derek again. Derek seemed at ease with the promise, making Stiles feel a bit better for ending the day short.

"Okay, good luck guys." Derek left Scott and Stiles with their own abilities.

"Scott, what did I just agree to?" Stiles realized belatedly he had no idea what he agreed to. And later would come to hate himself for not remembering Scott had a small football team that Stiles ignored because it interfered with his ‘passed out’ Sundays.

\---

Derek entered the open field running towards Scott and Stiles -- once again late Scott remarked beside Stiles. But Scott might as well have been speaking an alien language for the amount Stiles heard his friend say. All he could hear was an inner monologue cataloging every feature as Derek came closer into view wearing a muscle shirt and loose fitting shorts.

Derek apologizes about being late and makes a comment about the unexpected heat wave in September while fanning himself with the bottom hem of his shirt, revealing low sitting shorts. The remarkably toned chevron of muscle on Derek's hips and a dark path of hair guided Stiles’ eyes down against his will. Stiles felt completely flustered, it was bad it nearly made it hard to breathe.

“Oh my God, take your pants off.” Stiles murmured against his will. His campaign to prove his heterosexuality to himself became a losing race with every word passing past his lips. “Gah, uh…Give the people what they want.”

“What people?” Derek said curiously. Stiles waved his arms to the side directing Scott and Derek to the sidelined girlfriends, Allison and Lydia. The girls were currently heavily involved with their smart phones.

“Right,” Derek responded dubiously. “Maybe they'll settle for a shirt,” giving a knowing look. Derek’s shirt was flung over one shoulder as he showcased exposed skin glistening from exerted moisture. The girls still hadn’t removed their eyes off their devices.

“You OK?” Scott asked his best friend in concern, whose face looked absolutely wrecked.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m a little out of breath, is all.” Stiles tried to relieve Scott’s worry, then gulped as much oxygen as his lungs would allow.

“How are you out of breath already? We haven't even started yet.” Scott asked while Derek tried to stifle a laugh.

Stiles isn’t sure what happens is next good or bad timing when Jackson and his crew - Boyd and Isaac - enter the space occupied by Derek, Scott, and himself. A quick intro between all parties diverts Stiles having to make up an excuse to Scott about his flustered state.

“Bad luck, Derek, having to end up with a dud like Stilinski on your team.” Jackson taunts. “You could’ve stood a chance if Danny’s residency didn’t interrupt our weekly game.”

“I think I like our chances just fine. Stiles looks more than up to the challenge.” Derek assess, giving Stiles’ body a lingering once over – satisfied with what he sees. Stiles does mix of blushing at the compliment and cringing at the thought of being good at sports based on his body. Sure, he ran track during high school, but those days were long gone replaced with Netflix binge-a-thons. He hoped muscle memory would serve him well.

 ---

Stiles' legs were sorely screaming to sit, his chest heaving for a desperate need of oxygen, and clothes stuck to him uncomfortably. Why had he agreed to spend a day of rest running around with a bunch of testosterone filled models playing football? And just like that Stiles received his answer.

After a few kisses, Scott made his way from Allison to Stiles, wondering what Stiles was so absorbed in studying. “Dude, what are you staring at so hard?” Stiles jumped with the new presence he was unaware was standing beside him. Stiles was never one to stand perfectly still, but Scott had noticed his friend taking on the role of a scarecrow – stationary in the position with eyes focused on the one spot. “The only thing I see is Derek…drinking water.” Scott observes with confusion.

 “I – I was admiring his tattoo.” Stiles lamely answers, not 100% lying to Scott.

His half-truth to Scott, however, did not have the effect he wished for. “Then maybe…perhaps…you should look up between his shoulders instead of his ass.” Scott began smiling brightly at how flummoxed Stiles’ expression and body language started to exhibit.

 

The day was still fairly early but the intense match left everyone ready to make the next round the last play of the day. The game was evenly tied after Stiles began pulling his weight, it dawned on no one in particular that Stiles’ competence on the field started around the time Derek put his shirt back on. The decision to end the game soon relieved Stiles, who was still recovering from Jackson’s tackle Stiles to the ground after what feels like the 20th time - but in reality was the fifth - the sore, dirt-covered man began to take the abuse personally.

“God, Jackson don’t be so mad that Lydia wants to spend so much time with me. I can’t help being so irresistible and charming.” Stiles cajoles, swatting his own ass repeatedly to rid himself of the dirt. When he finishes the wasted task, earth still clinging to his clothing, Stiles catches Derek’s eye before the bearded man looks away hastily to study the football in hand as if never seen before. Stiles brushes the moment off as Jackson retorts back.

“Yeah, you got me, Stilinski. I would kill to be part of the Zac Efron movie marathons you and Lydia spend together watching on Saturdays while painting each other’s nails.” Stiles' eyes bulge owlishly as Jackson divulges a well-kept secret - correction, a previously thought well-kept secret.

“It was all a ploy to get with Lydia! And it was only my toes!” Stiles defended himself, hoping to save face from the group laughter coming from Jackson’s team. Boyd and Isaac were good guys, but even they couldn’t resist finding the amusement in Stiles’ Saturday activities. At least, Scott had his back wearing with a neutral look and, to Stiles’ great relief, Derek wasn’t laughing either.

 _“Wait...is Derek mad?”_ Stiles questioned in his mind.

Stiles pushed the question aside and tried locating the subject of his ridicule, Lydia, to glare ferociously but the strawberry blonde devil in disguise was nowhere to be found in the area Allison sat…hiding a hand behind her chuckling. Lydia’s disappearance comforted Stiles in a weird way, if only slightly. At least, Lydia knew how wrong she was wrong to blab about their scared Saturdays. Stiles only hoped she didn’t reveal anything else done...or said in a moment of weakness from an abundance of screen time with Zac. The actor had a way of breaking down Stiles’ barriers faster and more effectively than the bottle of Vodka stored in his freezer.

“Anyway, I never bothered asking her out on a date because we work better as best friends.” Stiles continues to explain when the search for Lydia yields no results. Scott’s passive expression evaporates with a hurt look replacing it. “Dude, you know I meant - best girl-bro friend. You’re at the top of the list, no subcategories.” Stiles went on and after Scott received his validation as the best of the best friends in Stiles’ life.

Derek is grinning happily, previous sour mood dissipated, when he calls out, “Let’s wrap this game up. Shall we?” Lightly bumping shoulders with Stiles as Derek passes by.

Derek wasn't having none of this tied score crap. He calls his group into a huddle to plan what he promises will be a successful plan to wipe that smug look off of Jackson’s face. “No one messes with my mate. Teammate.” Derek winks slyly at Stiles, mouth ajar and suddenly very dry. While instructing his team Derek cups the nape of Stiles' neck. “Listen up closely, Stiles, because you're our secret weapon.” Stiles commanded his brain to focus on Derek’s plan instead of documenting Derek’s hand - the feel of the rough pads, the comfortable weight placed on his neck, and the reassuring heat the skin on skin heat provided.

The plan was to hike the ball to Stiles, as Derek decreed him to be the fastest of the three, and Scott would take out Jackson leaving Derek to run interference between Boyd and Isaac. Derek’s confidence in his plan and teammates left Scott and Stiles reenergized with new found energy to win the final match.

Each team took their positions, Derek was bent over glaring with a scorching heat at Jackson, smugly smiling at Stiles. Stiles could see the cogs turning in Jackson’s head – making it obvious what he had planned, playing right into Derek’s plan. Scott had imperceptibly shifted his weight towards Jackson readying himself to strike. Everything was set for a winning play, that is until Stiles took his eyes off the other players ahead of him and looked down. Down where Derek was bent low with the ball in hand in front of Stiles. Shorts stretching over Derek’s frame outlined firm, round glutes. A visible line in between the cheeks gave Stiles a view of where Derek’s crack began and ended. 

 The loud yell of ‘hike’ rinsed away Stiles’ muddy vision obscured by Derek’s up-close physique and Stiles flew his hands forward to retrieve the ball from Derek. That was plan anyway. Scott nearly shot himself in the air to drive Jackson to the ground, but steadied himself when he saw the shocked expression on the opposing team’s faces. Everyone on Jackson’s side were frozen to the spot, gazes planted in Derek and Stiles’ direction. Scott checked to see what the cause of delay was, resulting in Scott projecting the same look as Boyd, Isaac, and Jackson.

 Stiles managed to free his hands of their lingering hold and backed away to apologizes profusely to Derek. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. Derek, I - It’s not like I was purposefully trying to feel them! My hand just went to the wrong ball. Or balls, in this case.”

Somehow Stiles had cupped, maybe even gripped a little, Derek’s cock and balls when he tried to go for the football. Side note: Derek was not wearing underwear.

It seemed Stiles’ remorseful words dispelled the statuesque pose placed on the opposing teams.  Everyone besides Derek and Stiles were rolling on the ground laughing at the unexpected turn of events. It was clear no one was continuing to resume the final match. With an agreed upon tied game, the two teams gathered their things to prepare to go their separate ways home.

Stiles makes a last ditch effort to save any newfound friendship forming between himself and Derek. Derek wasn’t mad per say, but he was really quiet and when the incident happened Derek looked more shocked than anything.

“I, uh, we are having a housewarming party this Friday. I don't know if Scott invited you yet. I promise –no more molesting. And free food and drinks.” Stiles hoped his olive branch would be accepted.

“He did but the invitation sounds better from you.” Stiles tried to decipher any hidden meaning behind Derek's words and the smirk that followed but the scruffy man run off in a comfortable jog to his parked car. Once again, Stiles was entranced by Derek’s back. He told himself he was just admiring Derek’s tattoo again, but his traitorous brain supplied the fact that Derek was wearing a shirt blocked the inked art.

 The way Stiles was acting made no sense to himself. He was surrounded by hot male friends. Isaac’s rockin' bod hidden behind a deceptively adorable face. Boyd was sculpted to perfection. Stiles would pay an exorbitant amount of money to see a bad photo of Jackson, but a bad of photo of him would be considered the best for anyone else. Scott...Stiles isn't going there due to brotherly bonds but the dude is swoon worthy suffice to say. But for some reason, Derek is a different breed of hotness that is melting Stiles’ capacity for proper responses.

 

\----

Somehow the two roommates successfully completed their project with no injuries or mishaps. After a solid week of painting, mounting, and assembling the simplest furniture set with the most complicated instructions the apartment was ready to host Stiles and Scott’s official housewarming nearly a year late. The two young men were well acquainted with the word procrastination.

Scott was preparing the final touches when Stiles rushed at him with urgency and panic in his voice. “Scott, which should I wear for the party?” Stiles asked with the two choices it took him an hour to finalize.

“Stiles, is this what you’ve been doing all this time? I thought you were setting up the music in the living room.” Scott responded while pouring out salsa in the bowl for the chips.

“What is there to set up? Just stream a random party list and boom, you’re done.”

“Yeah, and then we’ll end up doing the hustle or the Macarena.” Recalling some of the dances his mom talked Scott into learning during a particularly stormy winter that left the two McCalls, along with Stiles, trapped in for the weekend.

“We’ll cross that disco train wreck when we get there. But right now. Choose!”

Scott studies the choices waving threateningly in front of him. “Why does it matter? They’re both good choices.” Scott shrugs as he moves away to check the oven.

“It matters because I want to impress Derek. He already thinks I'm an stupid goofball, I want to show him I can be mature and shit. So, which one is more mature?” Scott stops his preparations turning back to Stiles, a result of wanting his best friend on good terms with his new friend. Stiles holds out the two choices again once he has Scott’s undivided attention. Both are graphic T-shirts, one is black depicting Batman's logo in yellow, the other is dark blue with Captain America’s signature red-white-blue shield.

“Do you really think comic book characters are the best way to show your maturity?”

“What? Both are very mature characters.” Stiles explains, not seeing a flaw in his own logic.

“Whatever, man.” Scott relents and takes a minute of deliberation to come to a decision, leaving his friend on pins and needles in wait. “Alright if I have to choose...go with the Cap. It makes you seem patriotic at least.” The answer seems to satisfy Stiles immensely when squeezes Scott in a brief hug before racing back to his room.

\----

During the party Stiles wears a well fitted, casual blazer over the shirt and open hoodie. When Lydia helped (insert: forced) Stiles order the blazer online once during their Saturday Zac Efron movie marathons, he honestly thought it would be dinner for moths before he’d ever have the need to use it.

“Listen, I want to say sorry once again about the whole groping thing. I didn’t mean to be so...invasive.” Stiles repeated his apology from the game to Derek, as they sat on the couch, when the guest finally arrived to the party - late because of work since Scott took the week off.

“Stiles, it’s okay. I was more pissed about losing to Jackson than anything. I can be a bit competitive sometimes. Plus, his attitude was driving me nuts. I really wanted to win to shut his mouth after the way he was acting.”

Stiles felt confused by Derek’s confession, he hadn’t remembered the ‘hard to like’ friend making any remarks toward Derek. In fact, Jackson barely acknowledged Derek, other than the introduction between the two. If anything Jackson’s surly demeanor was focused on Stiles the entire match. Stiles would've thought he missed something that occurred between Jackson and Derek if his focus wasn’t so aware of Derek’s every movement.

“Anyway, I should be thanking you. I can’t remember the last time anyone has paid that kind of attention to me down there.” Derek bumped shoulders with Stiles to ease the tension swarming the guilty companion sitting close to him.

“No way! A scorching hot Adonis like you? I can’t believe you don’t have a line of people wanting the chance to lick the spirals of your tattoo, at least. Your eyes alone are mesmerizing...” Stiles stopped in his tracks and gulped down a copious amount of alcohol in his cup, wishing it was strong enough to burn his throat to make it physically impossible to speak. He noticed the more he spent time with Derek the further away he seemed from Hetero-land, pretty soon he’d no longer be a citizen of that country.

“Don’t you remember your groupies at Home Depot? I think they wanted to declare a new nation of Derek Hale.”

“Hm, I guess I was more focused that day on something, or someone that day. You and that drill made an unforgettable show together.” Chuckling mildly, as Stiles buried his face in hands.

Fantastic, something else Stiles need to be sorry for with Derek. Derek notices Stiles’ embarrassment and, in an attempt to keep the mood light, comments on Stiles’ graphic shirt as he points to the article of clothing, “Who is that again? Mister America? Major America?”

Stiles spurts his drink back into his cup in a fit of giggles and quickly apologizes when Derek to glares at him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Dude, it’s Captain America. The first Avenger.”

“Well, anyway it’s a nice shirt.” Derek compliments and leans forward to grab his cup from the coffee table in front of the couch. Stiles makes an stealthy fist pump that he quickly aborts and splays his arm on the back of the couch as a recovery move when Derek sits back after grabbing his drink, that only makes Stiles seem spastic and unstable. “My sister is in love with that guy. I’ve never seen it myself though” Derek confesses.

“I have both Captain America movies, and the Avengers ones he’s in as well. You’re more than welcome to come over anytime to watch ‘em.” The thought of being Derek’s first time fills Stiles with warmth. But only because…”Gotta make sure the guy is worth your sister’s time, right?”

“True. Cool, then it's a date.” Derek says with an easy smile.

Stiles self-consciously scratches the back of his neck from the unintentional meaning he assumes came from Derek’s words. The thought of being more than friends with Derek made Stiles light headed. “Yup...uh, just two bros being bros, watching shit blowing up and assholes getting fisted...I mean bad guys who are getting punched...with fists.” Stiles clarified, tripping over his words.

Derek loses his easy smile and frowns into the cup, and Stiles hoped it wasn't because of his mistake. Stiles attempted to peer into the cause of Derek’s sudden change in mood. “Is something wrong with the drink?”

“No. In fact, I think I’ll get a refill.”

“I’ll join you, I gotta find out who else you need an introduction to in the comic book world.” Stiles says enthusiastically.

“Don’t trouble yourself. I’m sure you have other people to tend to.”

“It’s not...” Before Stiles could finish his sentence Derek had hastily made his way to the kitchen. “...any trouble,” Stiles whispered to himself. Left alone with his only his thoughts on the couch after Derek left, Stiles began overanalyzing his conversation to find the catalyst for Derek’s shift in attitude towards him.

Stiles found Lydia after Derek didn’t appear to be coming back any time soon. “I’m glad to see you finally wore the blazer I bought for you months ago.” Stiles didn’t bother correcting her about using Stiles’ credit card to purchase the item. Thoughts were occupied with how to repair the funk Derek was in when his guest left to the kitchen area.

Stiles sought out Derek as he scanned the open living room populated with close friends. What he saw gave his body an unexpected reaction – the sight of Derek and Stiles’ friend, Danny, talking in close perimeter sent a bone chilling sensation through his body. It was obvious Derek was enjoying Danny's company. Derek was hanging out with Danny, of course he was enjoying the dimpled man’s company. Everyone loved Danny, even Scott could barely go head to head against the instantly lovable bastard.

After viewing Danny placing a lingering hand on Derek’s bicep, Stiles abruptly left Lydia to take action. He creeps behind Derek and grabs Derek's ass while Derek chats with Danny to interrupt any possible flirting. Derek turned around mirroring the exact look he wore after the ball incident during football, standing mere inches away from Stiles’ face.

After Stiles sexually assaulted Derek, of all the things Stiles could say he chose to simply say, “What?” With no apparent shame for his handsy approach as he to joined Derek and Danny.

Neither Derek nor Danny had anything to say, only using their faces to express their inner thoughts. Derek still wore his look of bewilderment and intrigue, while Danny was shining with delight at a new discovery.

“Hey, Dan the man, I see you met the new man in my life.” Stiles started massaging one of Derek’s shoulder.

“Stiles, could I talk you…privately?” Derek more so demanded than asked. Danny chuckled as Stiles was pulled away by Derek into the hallway away from prying eyes. “What the hell was that?” Derek questioned once they were alone.

“What was that? That was me doing you a favor. You’re welcome, dude.”

“How was that a favor?” A scrunched face appeared on Derek’s face as he tried to decipher the actions of the person in front of him.

“The thing was clearly into you. I was just saving you the trouble of having to turn him down. Once again, you’re welcome. Up top!” Stiles displayed his palm to Derek, seeking a high five for his ‘selfless deed’. Instead, Stiles received a slap on the back of his hand to send the offensive gesture, in Derek’s mind, down to Stiles’ side.

“Who said I would’ve turned him?” Derek yells back. “He was nice, friendly, forward, and cute. A lot like someone else I was hoping would ask me out!” Angry features turning into frustration as Derek raked a hand in his hair.

“So…you’re not mad at me for groping you? You’re mad because I messed with your chances with Danny?”

“No, I’m not mad that you keep molesting me. I’m mad because…you only want to be friends. And every time I think you want more…you turn whatever moment I think we have into a joke between buddies. And I want more from you.” Derek breathes out a dejected sigh and wipes his face with both hands in exhaustion. “Tell Scott I’m sorry but I need to get going. See you around, Stiles.” Derek pitifully walks away leaving the party.

Scott enters the hallway to see Stiles staring out at the now empty hall. “Hey, what happened to Derek? I want him to tell the story about a little girl comparing him to Grumpy Cat.” Scott’s cheerful expression is the exact opposite of how Stiles feels.

“I think I messed up bad, Scott. Real bad.” Stiles tells what happened to Scott.

Scott finds himself in an extremely rare occurrence where he has the answer that Stiles doesn’t. “Stiles, maybe you should think long and hard about why you’ve been acting different ever since you met Derek. I know you have the answer if look deep enough.”

Stiles shakes his head animatedly, lips moving side to side with the action like a cartoon character. “Sorry, I tuned out after I heard long and hard. Dude, did you know how well hung Derek is?” Stiles practically yells out. Scott sighs heavily and walks away. “C’mon, I'm only joking! But not about the hung part.” Stiles calls out to his best friend as Scott retreats back to the party in exhaustion of Stiles’ immature attitude and disappointment in Stiles for scaring Derek away.

Stiles thinks to himself, alone in the hal,l as much he liked Derek as a person…Would he be able to get over the fact that Derek was a dude? Could he get used to…

_His handsome face, and pretty eyes_

_And a rock hard chest, and rippling abs_

_And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves_

_And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod._

Stiles told himself out loud to no one, “Fuck it. I’m so fucking gay.” Racing off, like a starting pistol was shot, after Derek who didn't get very far. Stiles found him sitting, a picture of a man in mourning, on the stairs of his apartment waiting for a ride. Stiles blew out a breath and drew on all his inner strength to prepare for a brave, new chapter in his life.

\---

“Quit playing with yourself!” Scott yells the next morning through the door separating him and the sole bathroom Stiles is monopolizing.

“I am not playing with myself, I promise you.” Stiles responds.

“Yeah, you are. You always take forever when you have ‘Stiles-time’ in the shower. You get in, you get out. It shouldn’t take this long. So, speed things up or I’m giving away the pink drill!”  Scott threatens.

“I can't, dude…I'm gay.” Stiles comes out to his best friend the best way he knows. “I need to exfoliate...use lavender scented shampoos and conditioners...manscape...gay stuff.” He jokes.

“I don't care if you're gay, dude. Will you just get out now!”

“Okay, okay. Love you by the way, man.” Stiles responds, happy to have a best friend like Scott.

“Love you too, jackass. And apologize to Derek ASAP.”

 Stiles tells Scott he already did last night before the sound of retreating footsteps indicates Scott's disappearance. “Okay, playtime is over. I think he really might give away my drill.” Stiles informs his shower mate. Derek offers his own pink drill as a replacement to Stiles' delight.

“But it's not really pink though. It's more of a…”

“Stiles, shut up and grab my--” Derek’s command dies on his lips when Scott interrupts.

“How did you apologize if you never left the party? You don't have his number. Please tell me you didn't steal my phone again.” Derek ends the inquisition by telling Scott that Stiles has already made it up to him.

“See I told you I wasn't playing with myself.” Scott mutters a wish to clean up behind themselves before leaving again.

Derek sighs loudly in annoyance and agrees with Stiles’ earlier statement to end the shower session. Stiles asks a question in jest to Derek to fill the silent air while both were toweling each other dry. “So, do you make a habit of…scrubbing guys on the first date?”

“Shopping, day at the park, and a party. Technically, you can call this the fourth date once you feed me breakfast.”

“Yeah, breakfast and a threesome with Steve Rogers.” Derek’s confusion is highlighted by furrowed brows as a response which causes Stiles kiss to Derek with a feverish intensity, lewd noises from both men filling the bathroom.

“What was that for?” Derek asks breathlessly with closed eyes, forehead leaning lazily against Stiles’.

“A reminder for why I’m with you.” Derek then kisses Stiles with just as much passion for a shorter length - since his lungs hadn’t recovered fully from the first kiss. It’s becomes Stiles’ turn to ask, “Uh, what was that for?”

“A second reminder, just in case.”

“Actually, I think I might need a third…you know, to be safe.

“You can have as many reminders as you want, Stiles.” Derek offers as he peppers kisses along  Stiles’ neck  and secures Stiles in his arms.

“C’mon! Quit being gay for each other for 10 minutes so I can get in there!”

Stiles laughs as he thinks Derek can never do anything in a timely manner.

**Author's Note:**

> https://youtu.be/hS9KPwfylmg  
> The video in case you're curious. :)


End file.
